MLB's Glass Ceiling -- Woman Ump Tossed

Back in March of last year, MLB was all about promoting the fact that they were "permitting" long-time minor league umpire Ria Cortesio to work the final major league spring training game of the year. Dutifully, your inconstant correspondent reported, not without a little sarcasm, the announcement.

As we noted at the time, normal umpire progression would have seen Ria in the bigs by the 2007 season. Her seniority placed her next in line for a AAA position, which is under the jurisdiction of Major League Baseball. But, MLB made sure that wouldn't happen -- to her slight surprise, she was released soon after the World Series.

Her mask made it to the Hall of Fame, but MLB apparently has no interest in seeing women invade their turf -- even as umpires. Wouldn't do for Roger Clemens to get squeezed by a woman, now, would it?


Photo Credit: Ria Cortesio, from her Friendster Photo Album.

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It's Jerry Week

For a great essay on Jerry, check out Kiko's House.

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Whoda Thunk it?

You Are Oscar the Grouch

Grumpy and grouchy, you aren't just pessimistic. You revel in your pessimism. You are usually feeling: Unhappy. Unless it's rainy outside, and even then you know the foul weather won't last. You are famous for: Being mean yet loveable. And you hate the loveable part. How you life your life: As a slob. But it's not repelling as many people as you'd like!

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

h/t to Phillybits

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Reaching Back

It was definitely a weekend evening, probably in January. Well, perhaps it was mid-week, and it could have been February. But it was definitely night, or late afternoon.

Well, it was 1978, of that I am certain. The remaining cloudiness is explained by the decade in which our little tale plays out. (Settle in, kids. When I qualify my extraneous parentheticals with incidental rumination, it's going to be a rambler.)

Back in the day, before Ticketron (as the behemoth Ticket Master was known in its infancy) was a monopoly, concert tickets were distributed in a variety of, what might today be considered, unusual ways.

On the planet Ohio, tickets for certain venues were often sold through AAA offices. Reliable information on precise on-sale dates and times was not always easy to find. But that night, we found ourselves in the company of a young woman from Columbus O. who, wouldn't you know, was employed at the AAA there.

Now THAT bit of news was pretty exciting to your then-young and full of promise correspondent, because it had just been learnt that the tickets to an April 1978 performance by the Grateful Dead, at the Vets Memorial in Col. O. were to be brokered through, yup, AAA.

Our young friend was able to supply us with the precise on-sale date and time. Not only that, your salivating reporter learned that, because it was expected that most tiks would be sold in the Columbus area (Zero State having something approaching six-figures in attendance), the information about the ticket sales was not being generally distributed outside the capital city.

Further inquiry brought out that, notwithstanding the limited disclosures, one could mosey into a small town AAA office at just the right time and, if armed with the internal phone number of the ticket sales people in Columbus, have the local AAA folk order up a heapin' helpin' of those dearly sought G.D. passes. Likely without any wait in line.

Soon, your then long-haired, heavily bearded, sandaled correspondent had the requisite phone number carefully secure in his wallet, together with the start time for ticket sales. But first, where to score the bucks needed . . . . Holding some kind of official position in a certain social organization, one populated heavily with aficionados of a certain Band Beyond Description, we approached the treasurer of the organization and convinced that fiduciary that his peeps would appreciate the opportunity to score some primo tickets to the concert.

So it was that, on a cold Saturday morning in Febhruary, 1978, Yours T. arrived at the AAA office on the public square in a sleepy little rural O. townlet, clutching several hundred of other peeps monies.

Plopping down at a desk commanded by a blue-haired, paisley-dressed matron, and we asked for several dozen tickets to the Grateful Dead concert. Laughter at the never-before heard band, as did some desperate pleading to (quickly now) call the number I gave her to verify the ticket availability. Which she did, reporting that there were several thousand Columbus residents on line outside the office she called, all looking for the same tickets. My dozens were immediately reserved.

So it came to pass that, on April 19, 1978, caravans of like-minded peeps poured south and invaded Vets Memorial, to discover that we occupied pretty much the second through fifth and 7th rows, center, of that fine hall.

What ensued remains, in my admittedly fuzzy and sometimes skewered memories of those days, probably the best of all the many, many, many dozens of Dead shows enjoyed before and after.

Today, back to the Now, in 2007, this morning's mail stunningly brought forth a full, 3-CD set of that show, burned by one of my compatriots that night, and sua sponte delivered by him to half a dozen or so of us in attendance all those decades ago.

The recorded memory lives up to the remembrance entirely. The band started off the long evening with a rousing Bertha. During which the two aisles filled with twirling, dancing, and dazed Heads.

It wasn't beyond notice of the hardworking band that security was desperately trying to usher all back to their seats. To more than some of us, it seemed that the band extended Bertha even longer than usu. Then, as the tune was winding down, and just as the last of the dancing fans had finally been encouraged to begin a return to the seats, a mischievous Bobby appeared to give the signal and the boys suddenly jumped into a powerful Good Lovin'.

This, predictably, brought hundreds of the recently seated streaming back down the aisles -- to the exasperation of security and the apparent delight of the chuckling band.

And the night had only just begun.

Good Lovin' gave way to Friend of the Devil, itself turned into an amazing Passenger, then Candyman, Cassidy, Peggy-O, Me & My Uncle -> Big River and Deal rounded out the first set.

Following a well-deserved break, the boys, and Donna Jean, returned refreshed. Opening the second set with Sampson & Deliah, the journey took us through It Must Have Been the Roses, Estimated Prophet -> He's Gone ->Drums & Space -> The Other One -> Wharf Rat -> Around & Around. The encore included the GD's first ever performance of Werewolves of London followed by the evening-capping We Bid You Good Night. [UPDATE: One of my confederates who attended this show swears that my recollection of We Bid You Good Night was hallucinatory. I'll take his word for it. He does confirm the initial stage rush, an extended ending to Bertha whilst security cleared the asiles, followed upon by a joyful Good Lovin' downbeat perfectly (and to all appearances, intentionally) timed to renew the rush just as the last twirler was taking a seat.]

It was a night to be remembered. The Dead were at the top of their act and, your amazed and altered witness is convinced, they fed and fed off the great vibes generated by such a large concentration of friends at their feet.

Listening now to Jerry wailing through Must Have Been the Roses, he's not gone, all those decades haven't passed, and all those friends are not long since seen and spread far. Strange how no one comes round anymore . . . .

There's nothing like a Grateful Dead concert, kids. Nothing.

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Sassie

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Zoom Zoom

Check it out here.

h/t The Funny Farm.

From the inventor's website:

The XR-3 Hybrid is a super-fuel-efficient two-passenger plug-in hybrid that achieves 125 mpg on diesel power alone, 225 mpg on combined diesel and electric power, and performance like a conventional automobile. The design of the XR-3 Hybrid focuses on existing technologies and a vehicle “personality” that makes conserving energy a fun driving experience. It showcases the design ideas explored in Robert Q. Riley’s book, Alternative Cars in the 21st Century.

At just 1300 pounds, this high-performance design combines lightening-fast acceleration, a maximum speed of 85 mph, and fuel economy of 125- to over 200-mpg.

Its clam-shell canopy and three-wheel platform boldly differentiates the XR-3 from conventional passenger cars. The vehicle’s hybrid power system, diesel engine, and low curb weight are the main ingredients of its super-high fuel economy and excellent performance. Acceleration equal to that of a conventional car and a maximum speed of 85 mph make the XR-3 Hybrid equally at home on freeways and surface streets.

Plans will be available so readers can build a duplicate of the XR-3 Hybrid prototype, or convert their own car into a significantly more fuel-efficient vehicle. Readers will understand the factors that influence fuel economy, and learn how to make any car achieve greater fuel economy. The XR-3 Hybrid gives enthusiasts and experimenters the opportunity to significantly reduce their transportation expenses and have fun doing it. On a broader level, the vehicle is a highly visible example of the kinds of vehicles that could help reduce personal mobility energy on a global scale.

(Image Credit: Robert G. Riley Enterprises)

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Long National Nightmare Over

Yay!
Balance restored to the Universe.

Awwwwww, ka-rap!

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What Happens to the Wine?

STATE COLLEGE — "What was supposed to be a romantic dinner atop a parking garage on Beaver Avenue turned sour for a young couple Tuesday night.

"A borough police officer on patrol about 11 p.m. spotted a man and woman, both younger than 21, having a candlelight dinner with a bottle of wine sitting on the table. The officer checked them with a portable breath-tester, and the results came back 0.0, according to borough police.

"As such, the couple, both Penn State students, were not cited. But they received a stern warning, and the wine bottle was confiscated, police said."

Kudos to the sharp-eyed officer for saving us from such outrageous conduct. Better this than wasting his time preventing something like this, or the 100 rapes and sexual assaults that happen on campus every year.

Gimme a break.

(Image Credit: Don Knotts, wvpics.com)

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Colbert Washed Up?

I could have titled this "Colbert Cleaning Up", but that might not have arched enough eyebrows.

For no apparent reason, I was perusing the web site of perhaps the leading purveyor of classic vintage bathtubs in these here United States, when I noticed a little linky at the bottom titled "Greatest Living American".

Gotta say, that's one heck of a paint job on that baby. I wonder if Colbert actually posed for those pix or if that's just really good photo shopping?


Love the copy, too, "this tub proudly depicts an American flag as it waives in the breeze – the breeze of freedom (in fact, the freshiest breeze of freedom in the free world . . . .27% fresher than the nearest leading democracy Great Britain)" and "Vintage Tub and Bath is proud - nay, very proud – to name this tub after the man who provides light where there is darkness, strength where there is weakness, and hair gel where there were once split ends."

Regardless, if you are in the market for one of those (becoming more ubiquitous) vintage tubs, Vintage Tub & Bath, in good 'ol Hazleton, PA, seems as good a place to start as any -- flags optional.

{UPDATE: Living sans TV (actually, I have an HDTV & HDDVD player, just no cable or reception), I am a bit behind on these things. But it turns out that the Vintage Tub folk were part of a massive Google bombing linking Colbert to "Greatest Living American". More here. And they are collecting a bribe prize for their efforts! Well done.}

(Image Credit: Vintage Tub & Bath)

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Lite a Joint, Fight Cancer

From WebMD:

April 17, 2007 (Los Angeles) -- Cannabis may be bad for the lungs, but the active ingredient in marijuana may help combat lung cancer, new research suggests.

In lab and mouse studies, the compound, known as THC, cut lung tumor growth in half and helped prevent the cancer from spreading, says Anju Preet, PhD, a Harvard University researcher in Boston who tested the chemical.

While a lot more work needs to be done, “the results suggest THC has therapeutic potential,” she tells WebMD.

More good news here.

Speaking hypothetically. . . . IF one had enjoyed the therapeutic benefits of weed on a daily basis for, oh, I dunno, the entire 1970s, then one might be pretty self-satisified right now . . . . hypothetically speaking, of course.

(h\t to Coffee House Studio)

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Belated Birthday Greetings

"Jiggs", better known to my fellow olden farts as "Cheeta", celebrated his 75th birthday last week at his retirement home in Palm Springs (California). Born April 9, 1932, Cheeta first appeared in a 1954 Tarzan film as a young pup, er, chimp, in an uncredited cameo. He later took over the role of "Cheeta", a role which he held throughout the remainder of the Weissmuller Tarzan career. His last role was in 1967's Doctor Doolittle.

Chimpanzees, we are told, have normal life expectancies of about 50 years. Cheeta is recognized as the world's oldest living chimp. Cheeta lives at the C.H.E.E.T.A. Primate Sanctuary, where, between watching his old movies with his grandson, he turns out original art works which are sold to raise money for the Sanctuary.

(h/t to Huck and Jim, who alerted us to the event via backchannel and was apparently too proud to sully their blog with the news. We've got no pride.)

(Photo Credit: Frederick Neema)

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Recalled to Life

The 2007 Season starts under the lights at Busch Stadium, with the Amazins hosted by the Cardinals in a rematch of last season's NLCS.

You'll recall 2006 -- the Mets powered out the competition. The best team in their league, they ended a near-generation of consecutive division titles by the Braves. They were destined . . . . and met up with the Cardinals . . . . who, with barely 83 Ws during the 162-game regular schedule, barely had a right to lace up the spikes in October. Everyone in New York was looking forward to the World Series. (And, I do mean everybody, especially the owners of the best record in all of baseball that year.)

But it was the Cardinals they should have been looking out for. The Cards slapped down the Mets, went on to earn the Pennant that will be raised tonight in Busch Stadium, and the rings that will be awarded the players. All while the Mets, last year's great expectations behind them, get to watch.

But, this is a new season, new lime, freshly mown lawn, and, out there under the lights, Tom Glavine on the mound for possibly his last opening day. The Mets can have a redemption, of sorts. It's Opening Day and every team on the field and every fan in the seats knows, hopes, expects that THIS will be THE year. There is nothing like Opening Day.

That the first National League game of the 2007 Season pairs up the same teams who played the last '06 National League game is just one of the things that makes baseball, if not real life, the most life-like sport. The 2007 schedule was set before the Metsies were destined for the playoffs in 2006 -- it wasn't set up this way, it just happened that way. And so much of a major league season, so much of a major league game, happens just like that.

It's Opening Day, like the 130 Opening Days before this one. Except it is unlike any other -- just as every baseball game to be played this year and every baseball game played before this.

First pitch, 8:10 pm.


{UPDATE: Mets 6-1 over the Cards. }




NOTE:Please update to the NEW URL NOW:

www.abigfatslob.com

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MLB's Token Female Umpire Knocking on the Glass

Major League Baseball proudly sent out a press release announcing that a woman will work a major league spring training game for the first time in two decades. I am not sure of what they are proud.

Women should be players in major league baseball -- I have little doubt that there are women out there right now who are more talented than many of the players on major league rosters. Twenty years I ago I fought my local little league organization and won the right of my daughter to play in the hardball league with the boys. I am certain that there are many other girls who have started their ball careers the same way over the last couple of decades. (Just a few years later, when my son began playing, it was common for most teams to have a girl or two.)

I have coached women's softball and boy's baseball at the high school level. The best players on the women's teams were better than most of the players in the boy's league. I have seen great college shortstops and pitchers on college teams who outperformed many on the bench on today's major league teams. So why aren't we seeing women on the field in pro ball?

When it comes to umpiring, I find it astounding that Major League baseball thinks it a proud moment that a 9-year minor league veteran will finally be tapped to crew in an exhibition game during the last week of spring training. The umpire is assigned to Double-A ball. Unless she is not very good at her job (which the assignment to the Major League spring training game would refute), then it would appear that she may have been held back artificially.

Umpires, like ballplayers, advance through the minor league ranks. Umpires start at the Single-A level, which itself has four levels. Generally, Umpires move up a level or so a year, with most getting to the Double-A leagues by their third or fourth year. They typically stay there about three years before being considered for advancement to AAA. By their sixth or seventh year, they should expect to be moving up to the AAA level.

At the AAA level they are eligible to be evaluated for openings at the Major League. AA umpires can only gaze with longing over that fence. The top-ranked AAA umpires are generally assigned to the Arizona league for spring training, where they work closely with Major League umpires.

The woman umpire touted by MLB spent four years at the Single-A level and is in her fifth year at Double-A. MLB reports that she is in line for the next AAA opening.

About time. But, why is she the only female umpire in all of pro ball?

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Calling PA Political Blogs

The ABFS Blogroll has recently expanded -- I shouldn't be the only thing around here growing -- and we'd like to know if we are missing anyone.

If you are (or know of) a blogger, located in Pennsylvania, and posting mainly about politics (of any kind, Local, State, National, International, or Interstellar) (right, left, or confused), E-mail me so that we can get the blog included on the list.

The ABFS Pennsylvania Political Blogroll is the most complete, current list of active Pennsylvania political blogs anywhere, and we'd like to keep it that way.

ABFS

NOTE:

WE ARE MOVING!!! For now, the old Blogger address will bring you to the new location -- but that can change at any time. Please update your Blogroll, Links, and Bookmarks NOW:

www.abigfatslob.com

Click Here to Blogroll A Big Fat Slob!

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And, the Babysitter Was Upset Because She Didn't Get a Tip . . . .

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Troop of One Hundred.

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Something that Matters

If darkly,

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Happy New Year

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Oops

Someone dropped the ball . . . .

The names and urine samples of about 100 Major League Baseball players who tested positive three years ago can be used by federal investigators, a court ruled Wednesday -- a decision that could have implications for Barry Bonds. . . .The federal appeals court ruling could bolster the government's perjury case against Bonds if his name is among those who tested positive. Investigators seized computer files containing the 2003 test results during raids in 2004 on three labs involved in the MLB testing program. . . .The unidentified samples had been collected as part of a MLB survey to gauge the prevalence of steroid use. The testing was anonymous under the terms of baseball's labor contract, but each player was assigned a code number to be matched with his name.

Where were the big-ticket lawyers for the players union? This initial round of testing was intended to be anonymous -- to get a read on the scope of the problem. If they are doing anonymous survey testing, for something which is illegal in every state and under federal law, why would the lawyers allow it to happen under a system which provided a way to match names with the samples?

What were the lawyers paid -- maybe $600 an hour -- to create a system designed to gather and preserve evidence of criminal wrongdoing by their clients. Nice job, there, counsellors.

Just a matter of time until the list is leaked (so to speak) . . . .

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I'm Guessing Penn DOT

(From The Greenbelt)

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