Tuesday, October 10, 2006

How to Tell if You Have LOST YOUR MIND

Often, it is the people around you who will first realize that you have lost your mind. That can be quite embarrassing -- being the last one to know something so personal about yourself. So, as a public service, lemme see if I can help.

Let's say you find yourself in this situation . . . . say you have a job, oh, pick one, let's use CONGRESSMAN. AND then let us say that someone says that you had an affair with a woman about 300 pounds lighter and three decades younger than you are. And then let's say that you lie about her and claim that she was only a casual acquaintance. But then it comes to light that this casual acquaintance made a 911 call from your bathroom in Washington and filed a police report about you beating up on her. And then, say, you finally admit that your definition of casual acquaintance means "a woman I've been shtupping for five years behind my wife's back". But now you deny that you beat her. And suppose then she sues your ass for over $5 million and says that she lived with you for five years and that you assaulted and beat and choked her and yanked her hair, repeatedly. And then you deny the claims but the next thing people hear is that you get an out of court secret settlement with her, and they wonder how much you had to pay her to settle claims you first said were untrue, after admitting you lied about not admitting to the affair . . . . And now your "family values" are threatening your reelection campaign, so you look around for someone to help you.

If you find yourself in that situation and the person you choose to help you has just been accused of covering-up, for several years, for yet another republican congressman who was hitting on and trying to entice children into bed, then in that case ---

YOU HAVE LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND!!!!

Glad to help, don't mention it.


{UPDATE 10/10/06: Guess I helped. Sherwood has cancelled the Hasert and Reynolds events. Actually, pressure from Chris Carney and his "best political ad of the year" gets the credit; no mention of the Slob.}

4 comments:

Boone said...

God that was funny,,,,, excellent!!

Gort said...

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

A Big Fat Slob said...

Or, as a fearful leader once said,
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

PA progressive said...

So here we have Don Sherwood (R-Choke City) choking hismistress, Jim Gerlach (R-06) taking money from DeLay and Rove, Joe Pitts (R-16) saying there wasn't any cover up, Phil English (R-03) doing things that might even make Foley blush, and you have your Pennyslvania Rogues Gallery.